I needed a fresh perspective. Of course I complain to my wife about this stuff, but she’s in the middle of it too. I needed Ava! She would know exactly what to say. I called her over one night to straighten me out.
I told her everything…the attitudes, the disrespect, the promiscuity, the baby…everything!
She was honestly shocked to hear all of it. She thought my children were angels…and so did it! But after she got over the shock of her little cousins/pseudo nieces and nephew, she said some very profound things.
“Aiden, this is simple! You can’t see it though. Remember when Jasmine was born and you were walking around saying that ALL of your children were going to look like and act like you? Well…you got what you wanted!”
“Yes! Your kids are just like you, Aiden. That’s why they get on your nerves because you’re all just alike. It’s like you’re looking in three mirrors all the time.”
“No! I was nothing like them!”
“Oh puh-lease! I know you have it all together now, but you weren’t always Mr. Morality, sir. Remember I used to talk to you about Dulce! Remember what you used to do with her?”
“Yeah, but what? Aiden, if I weren’t also in love, had just gotten married, and was pregnant, I probably would have been upset with you too! I know that this house was yours, but I was paying the bills. You didn’t have a job.”
She was right.
“So, tell me,” she continued. “What’s different about what Jayden is doing? I think he’s doing things a bit more honorably, actually. He narrowed down his choices, he developed good friendships with both of them, he chose one, and he promised himself to her. True, she doesn’t sound like much of a catch, but he’ll have to lie in that bed. We can’t do anything about that.”
“Now, Jayla…her mischievousness is unfortunate, but that’s who she is. And guess what? She’s self-assured just like you? It’s no wonder she’s so confident.”
“But, poor Jasmine. She was the sweetest little thing! She and Cory don’t even talk anymore. She probably doesn’t even know who he is! I can’t help you with that one. She needs professional help. I will say this though…our jobs as parents are to teach them. We can’t make them learn. We can’t make them listen. But we teach them anyway. What they do with those lessons is up to them, and we can’t feel responsible for what THEY do. THEY did it! Not you, Aiden. THEM.”
You know what? I haven’t seen Cory in a long time, but I just know he came out to be a proper gentleman because his mother is an amazing woman! She was pretty much like a second mom to ME. If he doesn’t listen to her advice, he’s a fool. Ava definitely pointed out some things that I hadn’t realized about these situations. I feel better about some parts and still lost in others. But overall, it just felt good to get all of that out.
Now, about this granddad thing….